There's No Such Thing as Imposter Syndrome

Is there such a thing as imposter syndrome? It’s a term that seems to be used alot. I even used to say it myself. It can lead to us avoiding taking action, or we take action but it impacts how we show up which can limit our progress.

 

But do we have a “syndrome”? And are we being an “imposter”?

 

First, lets take a look at what "syndrome" means:

 

SYNDROME

 

Dictionary Definition: a combination of symptoms that shows existence of a particular disease or mental condition

Etymology: Syndrome comes from a Greek word that combines the root “to run” (dramein) with the prefix “together” (sun-). When many or all of the symptoms for a disease or mental condition “occur together,” that's a syndrome.

 

Based on this, I propose that you don’t HAVE a syndrome and you’re not suffering from a syndrome.

 

In other words, you don’t have a mental condition. And giving ourselves a diagnosis (signified by a label) isn’t helpful on a physical health level or when it comes to psychological or emotional matters.

 

So now we’ve established that, lets look whether you are acting as an imposter in some way.

 

IMPOSTER

 

Dictionary Definition: a person who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others especially for fraudulent gain.

Etymology: 1580s, "swindler, cheat," from French imposteur (16c.), from Late Latin impostor "a deceiver," agent noun from impostus, contraction of impositus, past participle of imponere "place upon, impose upon, deceive," from assimilated form of in- "into, in, on, upon" (from PIE root en "in") + ponere "to put, place" (past participle positus). Meaning "one who passes himself off as another"

 

So ….if we flip it, NOT being an imposter would be to be yourself, be honest and not intentionally deceive others in any way.

 

With that in mind, the first question to ask yourself is whether you actually ARE being an imposter in some way.

 

Are you being yourself? Are you being honest and genuine? Are you acting with integrity? Do you really believe in and embody/practice what you preach?

 

If the answer to all of these questions is yes, then you are not being an imposter, and therefore using that word is inaccurate and unhelpful.

 

If the answer to any of these questions is no, then you are being an imposter in some way, and will continue to believe you’re an imposter until you do whats required to be able to answer yes to them.

 

Examples of being an imposter…..

 

I was in a  group program for coaches and one of the members was not creating clients and earning money, but wanted people to pay him to teach and coach them to create clients and increase income.

 

“Part of me doesn’t feel good enough. I feel like an imposter”

 

Others jumped in to say "no no you are good enough, you can do it" etc

 

I said “what if theres some truth in your statement”?

 

Uncomfortable silence followed.

 

Someone may say “I help people overcome their blocks and create the life of their dreams” but they wont do the work to overcome their own blocks and take action to create what they want

 

People talk of self esteem / valuing self and what you offer, but then slash their prices

 

People talk of authenticity and truth, yet manipulate - creating an inauthentic avatar of themselves on Social Media, using nefarious manipulation in their marketing etc.

 

“I teach solopreneurs how to make 50k months”. But they dont make 50k months.

 

“I teach you to grow your biz to 7 figures using social media” But Did THEY do it before coming up with this offering?

 

“I help people increase their health and vitality”. Yet they are stressed out and have health issues.

 

A few years ago I met someone who told me they help women overcome anxiety and yet she was one of the most anxious stress people I've met, lol

 

Maybe you don't believe people will purchase because you wouldn’t if you were them eg you're a coach but won’t pay for coaching.

 

Maybe you’re charging prices you wouldn’t pay yourself.

 

Maybe you are making claims you don’t know you can fulfil.

 

There’s many examples.

 

Things like this lead to (deep down) knowing you’re being an “imposter” in some way, and hence you avoid putting yourself and offerings out there, or you do it in a way that causes people to not feel confident in you or trust you, or you’re a great actor but always have that nagging knowing that you aren’t being true to yourself.

 

It's important that we are congruent and in integrity ie our beliefs/thoughts, words and actions align. If not, then naturally deep down we will feel like a fraud, which can slowly eat at us and create emotional turmoil. And it makes most of us very resistant to action.

 

HOWEVER, if you’re NOT being an imposter but you still say “I have imposter syndrome”……

 

Again, you don’t have a syndrome. If you say you FEEL like an imposter, you don’t actually feel like one, because “imposter” is not a feeling/emotion. What you FEEL is internal discomfort, and then there will be a mental narrative, and you label this “imposter syndrome” or “I feel like an imposter”.

 

Everyone is different, however in my experience the truth is any of the following:

 

"I'm worried I won’t do a good enough job"

"I'm worried I might let people down"

"I'm worried I won’t be able to deliver what I say I can"

"Im worried I’ll make mistakes"

"I'm worried people will say no / won’t pay the price I'm charging"

"I’m worried I’ll be criticised or seen in a negative light"

"I'm worried I'll feel uncomfortable"

 

Notice how all these things involve the risk of being judged and criticised, which is ultimately about rejection - see my article “Your Deepest fear” for more on this.

 

The issue is that you doubt yourself and / or have a desire to be “perfect” (of which there is no such thing by the way)

 

This was me in the past. I was petrified of people judging and criticising me, saying no, or thinking negative about me. I allowed fear and discomfort to stop me moving forward.

 

We may have low self belief, self trust or self esteem. We may have feelings from past experiences where we did something new and there were consequences that felt uncomfortable. We may be hearing critical voices from the past or even in the present. Remember there is always a reason we feel and think what we do.

 

Level 1: What's the problem? “I feel like an imposter!”

 

Level 2: Whats actually going on? “I don’t know what I'm doing, I might let people down, Im worried I’ll make mistakes, people might think I’m not up to the job”

 

Level 3: Why is this a problem? “I'm afraid of potential consequences and don't want to feel emotional discomfort"

 

Level 4: So what? The problem is, that you think the way you feel is a problem. It's not. It’s natural to feel uncomfortable when we're doing new things, stepping into uncertainty and risking possible “rejection”. You can choose to feel the discomfort and do it anyway.

 

When I'm coaching clients, I help them to get to the bottom of whats going on, shift their perspective, and support them (in a holistic way) to take relevant actions. As they take action, step by step, they build evidence that they are capable, they teach their system that it's "safe", and in the process they reprogram their subconscious system.

 

Contrary to the popular narrative of "change your thoughts, to change your feelings to change your behaviour / take action", in my experience, inner change starts with action. Taking action when you have worries, doubts and fears and resistances can be very challenging. And this is one of the reasons that partnering with a competent coach is so valuable.

 

So in summary...

 

YOU DO NOT HAVE A SYNDROME.

 

Relax. There is nothing “wrong” with you!

 

It's important to look within and be honest as to whether you are being an imposter in some way OR if you’re just being hard on yourself.

 

This isn’t about judgement, blame or shame. It’s just important to look at things for what they are and see the truth of whats really going on. To look at what's underneath the statements you make or the labels you give. Either we aren’t being inauthentic and deceptive, or we are in some way. If there is some truth in it, its important to recognise and address it. But either way, it’s not helpful to slap a buzzword or label on it.

 

If and when you feel/think things which you label as imposter, ask yourself "what does that actually mean"? Write down the physical sensations in your body and the mental narrative you have, WITHOUT using the words imposter, fraud or good enough. And, ultimately, what are you afraid of?

 

Are you being inauthentic, dishonest or deceptive in some way? If the honest answer is no then you probably have a desire to be perfect and are being hard on yourself (which can be worked through). But also I'd ask “so what”. I did a podcast episode about this (#22 A powerful perspective shift) which you can access via my website. You can choose to move forward despite the discomfort.

 

Or you actually might be acting as an imposter in some way. Get honest with yourself, and identify what’s really going on internally, so you can address it and move forward. Remember, nothing is permanent and everything is figureoutable.